Q&A with Dr. H: How Do You Help Someone Who Refuses Help?

Q&A with Dr. H: How Do You Help Someone Who Refuses Help?

Ned responds to a worried mom who reached out looking for ways to help her 17 year old daughter. She wrote in part,

My daughter has been given numerous amounts of education about ADHD, she seems to have the right combination of medication now, and she gets exercise daily from being a studio competition dancer.

But she is still struggling. She is 17.5 yrs old, without a driver’s license, never had a job, she still operates in the world of now and not now, fights most structure that would help tackle tasks, closed off to any type of personal suggestion/coaching for ADHD, really struggling daily in most executive function skills such as organization and time.

17.5 is a hard age to still be living daily in what you describe “transparency, to the point of being honest to a fault”, especially with the lying and the “tendency to externalizations or blame others while not seeing their role in the problem” and it is becoming a huge concern for us about what her adult future will be like.

As her parents we feel very stuck, defeated and devastated that her future will be nothing but struggles that she doesn’t have to have, but will.

How do we help her be more receptive toward putting structure into her life and embracing the help of a coach? Both would give her more control over her outcomes, not just reacting to situations. These are the only two things I can think of that we haven’t already included in her life.”

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1 Comment

  • Borderline Posted April 19, 2021 5:18 pm

    I thought the response was realistic and not too rosy. The parents sounded overly worried.

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